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Rediscovery. Streamlining. And how I'm choosing not to do it all.

October 6, 2017

 

Reinvention isn't something that always needs a start date down the road. Sometimes, you wake up and realize that there are things that need to change and that today is the time to make it happen.

 

Today was that day for me.

 

Over the last year, I've done my best to float above the waves but I've drowned between school, work, and a million goals. Having drive and ambition are some of the best things someone can possess in their arsenal--how else are you supposed to make life better for you and everyone around you? But I was sinking fast. And something needed to change. My fear of missing out (Holla if you've got FOMO too!) was becoming dangerous and I was treading the line of Spread Too Thin And Missing Out Anyway.

 

Every day, I woke up tired, disorganized and purposeless. For me, that's a strange feeling--to be so displaced and stepping so carefully in life that I felt like I was walking on eggshells All. The. Time. With a buffalo on my back. I could not, for the life of me, figure out where I'd gone wrong that I had an amazing internship, a writing career, and an academic pursuit and still couldn't manage to wake up in the morning feeling excited. For those who know me, feeling passionless is a rarity--I am a very all or nothing kind of lady.

 

As the book deadline for the first new story in my upcoming series approached fast, the late nights began.

The talking to my imaginary friends as I painstakingly wrote their stories.

The obsessive answer I gave friends who asked how I was doing, "I'm writing."

The "I-can't-stand-these-characters-right-now-but-I-secretly-love-this" complaints.

The fire I felt again in my belly to build my life, dance a little when I opened my eyes, and bounce over to my computer.

 

I woke up a week ago thinking, "I don't have to do it all. I want to do things I love. I want to do them well." So here we are...the website has a redesign because the old one didn't feel like me anymore. I made a list of the things I love that take precedence, that fill me up with joy and that give me a dreamchasing life. I will finally learn to say no, instead of wondering what if and doing something I know I wasn't meant for.

 

So...welcome. Again. Annika Sharma 2.0 is here. 

 

And my God, it feels good to be back.

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